I have given pleasure to the world because I have such beautiful toenails! (Or so the Cat might say.)
Hello everyone! I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
I'm a grateful kind of chap, who likes nothing more than gaming with the right person.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my admirable personality, closly followed by my smashing toenails. I'm the man for you, if you like great toenails and fingers, particularly combined with ample baby oil.
I work as a author, helping vulnerable adults. This allows me to exercise my skills: cooking and washing dishes.
My life goals include:
Watch the filming of the next season of Red Dwarf
Fall in love with you
Become the best author I can be
Help all the vulnerable adults in the world
If you're the right person for me, you'll be admirable and lovable. You won't be afraid to be open and honest and will have a healthy respect for the environment.
My ideal date would involve star gazing in Africa with a spiky person by my side. While we're there, I admire your squat toes whilst feeling I'm the luckiest man on the planet.
Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!
'Now kindly cluck off before I extract your giblets and shove a large, seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with.'